LOST IN THE MACHINE

OMG...What is it with bloody Google? Why is it sooo confusing? Every time I enter it I get lost and never end up with what I want...and it never knows me. A few minutes ago it told me I had no blogs. So I know it's probably all my fault for signing in with different email addresses and then I forget which one even though I've got it all written down somewhere. I've just had to stroll through notebook scribbles but I've found myself again, and written better instructions in a tidier notebook that is devoted to this sort of thing. All this trouble must be because I never know who I am supposed to be and then Google jumps up or pops its head around dark corners and demands I sign in and when I do nothing happens - well nothing I like.

I can't remember what I wanted to write now but I'll settle for abusing Google and add a note of advice to any strollers out there - keep a nice book!

DAILY CARD DRAW 5

6.12.10

Effort has arrived; it pulled me out of bed, very gently, and brought me to the sorting of papers, books, crafty bits and general jumble. The result is a completely cleared desk, shelf and chair in the bedroom…and some Christmas presents wrapped, and a box of silver balls/hearts/stars strung, which are now hanging around the living room bookshelves. Ta-da!

XV111 The Moon

A half-naked young woman is turned away from me, long black hair hanging down her back. She's walking through water in the moonlight, her arms against her chest in a position of fear, and there's something at her back that I can’t make out – I don’t know if she is being prodded out into the lake or not. A white satin garment is loose around her waist and hips, spreading into the water. She has white flowers in her hair and there’s a raven down in the right hand corner, just there, not doing anything. Is she a victim or just a moon-walker? Am I a victim or just spellbound by my own mystery?

When I noticed the water in this card I immediately felt the pressure of exercise forced upon me by myself; I joined the local pool and gym but haven’t gone back nor dipped my toe in the water. If one of The Moon’s meanings is strange encounters then it might be fun to go swimming – but I can’t be bothered with all that washing of the hair and the drying and getting dressed (once a day is plenty) and once a week with the hair is enough! But, only an hour ago I was toying with the idea of cutting my hair so I won’t keep pinning it up and look the same all the time.

Maybe this card has come out to tell me that there is still a long and difficult search to experience and cleaning a desk and a shelf is just not enough. I need to look deeper into my procrastination. What happens when I’ve cleared all the desks and cupboards and tidied all the photographs? That’s when the real work begins and I should just get on with it because it’s not going to go away.

Note:

I am so amazed at how this week has changed my point of view; since I’ve started the daily draw I have accomplished so much. Tonight, I cut my hair into a short bob so I will have to wear it down and look like anything other than the old granny who can’t be bothered. And, I began the rewrite of the novel by having my main character draw three cards to help her make a decision – so many things in just five days.

- back to the future

No, I didn't wear my hair down, all blow-dried into a smart bob: I still pinned it up, and five years later am still pinning it up because I can't bear the heat of it or be bothered with the hanging-in-the-face of it. And, as I said in the previous post, THAT novel is still around but not the one I'm working on now - another re-write. Ah, 'it's life, Jim, but not as we know it'.

DAILY CARD DRAW 1

These are part of an exercise I started five years ago. I'm putting them up here to analyse any changes made from the readings' wisdoms, any real premonition/prophetic visions etc.

2.12.10

It’s 3am and I begin the day (before I settle down to sleep) with the very first draw from the pack.

Using my lovely new Favole Tarot deck in an effort to study it, the artist, the symbolism, and me.

11 The High Priestess

The figure of a beautiful woman takes up one third of the picture and to her left is a bubbling cauldron; the smoke from the fire stretches up into the night and hovers behind her. She looks determined; that was the first and strongest feeling I got from the card. Immediately above her is a winter tree and in the background is the dark structure of a castle.

As I shuffled the pack I forced an image of myself into the forefront of my mind, of how unfit and unhealthy I am, and thought about how long I can continue with bad habits then asked the question, will I succeed in getting healthy and fit. So, to see her looking determined is my answer, initially.

All the ingredients are in her pot and it’s boiling, cooking and affirming its success because the ingredients are gathered and successfully arranged so that the outcome is inevitable; she has done her magic, used her talents and now it is down to me to take my medicine.

I’ve taken none of this from the traditional meaning of the card; this is straight from the image. She is dressed and wearing her jewellery and symbols of magic; she was prepared and had probably relished the ritual. So, do I need a ritual? I’d say that was a yes. She and the cauldron are lit-up whilst the background is very dark. So I must put the background out of focus and pay attention to what’s in the pot. What’s in my pot?

The only symbols here are fire and her necklace of a pentagram, and a pentagram embossed on the side of the cauldron. So, my first lesson will be the pentagram and high priestesses, and perhaps a little spell-work.

Notes:

My first rituals should be waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night, which can be started with an alarm and relaxation exercises – so get to it!

-back to the future...

Obviously the last five years was not the right time for me making the huge effort spelled out in the gorgeous cards, but maybe I'm ripe now!