DAILY CARD DRAW 3

4.12.10

Ooh The Star is a vampire fairy, all silvery-white but splattered with blood. She is a mess, and just as I was asking myself if I’d be able to make some kind of effort with myself tomorrow – I take it that’s a no!

But, in reality The Star would insinuate that I can do it if I want to, that if I make that effort my hopes and dreams will come true. Maybe that’s what she’s hoping too, that she needs to learn not to be so sloppy, especially when wearing her best whites. All her decoration is white except the red thorny crown on her head; the thorns are a vicious hoop digging across her forehead.

She looks resigned to her fate, a wild child of the moon with her long white hair hanging down to her hips. Is that why she spills the blood on her breast and lap? Does she think it’s too late so why bother? Perhaps she thinks, been there done that and oh yes I’ve got pretty wings, so what? Is this me? I do go around thinking that I’ve been there done all that and can do what I please now.

Drawing this card does indicate good omens and hope for change. This is an echo of yesterday’s reading, of all of them really, in that I must make an effort to change my habits and routines – I certainly don’t have any of them! I don’t eat, sleep or work to any kind of routine. Isn’t that the first thing you try and put in place with children or the mentally ill?

I’m a wild child with special needs and I’d better take note. Though, I did wrap up some Christmas presents and clear a little space tonight but I still can’t sit down and use any of my desks because the surfaces are stacked with books and things, some of them quite precariously.

- back to the future

In five years I think my desks have been cleared twice, but they happen to be clear now and arty crafty work has been done - there are a few crafty projects sitting on them right now but nothing that couldn't be cleared in a couple of minutes...this is quite a freedom for me. But, in reality, I haven't changed the basic foundation of my lifestyle and must now decide that that's because I can't and probably shouldn't. I have become who I was meant to be so should stop trying to be different, or the same as everyone else.